Weekly Wire
Austin Chronicle Mr. Smarty Pants

By Mr. Smarty Pants

JANUARY 24, 2000: 

When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead - no white mess on the outside of the cake.


Researchers at the Catholic University in Leuven, Belgium, have developed software and listening apparatus to analyze the sounds of a pigsty. They say it could be adapted to sound an alarm when animals are sick or in pain.


French scientists have built a pair of water-filled latex lips that can play a trumpet, trombone, or French horn on their own.


Some religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can assume that all souls go to Hell.


A week before Lincoln was shot he was in Monroe, Maryland. A week before Kennedy was shot he was in Monroe, Marilyn.


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