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Roundball Fever
Way insiders bestow superlatives, make predictions
By Randy Horick
FEBRUARY 28, 2000:
Now that Super Bowl fever has subsided, we can all become deliciously
infected again with that old seasonal malady, March Madness. In the spirit
of the time, we convened some of the most smitten people we could round up
(our irregular panel of way insiders) to bestow some superlatives and
venture some predictions that even the boys in Vegas aren't hazarding
yet.
SEC Coach of the Year: The homers clamored, with some
justification, for Vandy's Kevin Stallings. But we have to give it up for
John Brady, whose LSU team was relegated by the Media Geniuses to the SEC
West's hind teat. Now, they're the one team absolutely no one wants to
draw.
SEC Player of the Year: Stromile Swift, LSU. He'll dunk on you.
He'll dunk on your grandmaw. He'll dunk on Shaq and MJ and 'Zo and all
y'all. Every coach but his own wants Swift to win this honor; they hope
he'll take the hint and turn pro.
National Coach of the Year: OK, let's go ahead and ritually
genuflect before Duke's Mike Krczewcski, who watched four players leave for
the NBA and then, without missing a beat, assembled a fresh cast of
McDonald's All Americas for a serious title run. But our iconoclastic
panelists, perhaps influenced by Temple's gritty upset of Cincinnati on
Sunday, chose John Chaney.
The 67-year-old coach, who has come to resemble his school's owl mascot,
is a sentimental favorite. Though he's come close, he has never taken a
team to the Final Four. In an era when college basketball can't shake the
image of corrupt programs and pampered players, Chaney is refreshingly
old-school. From the pickings left behind by recruiters from bigger, more
prestigious programs, he molds blue-collar teams that practice at 5 a.m.
and whose players sport jewelry and facial hair at their peril.
Want a more tangible reason to pick Chaney? The Owls lost their
linchpin, point guard Pepe Sanchez, for part of the season to injury but
are still 20-4, with a real shot at playing on the final weekend.
National Player of the Year: Eduardo Najera, Oklahoma. When he
first arrived from Mexico, where he almost single-handedly has popularized
basketball, he couldn't even speak English. He's far from the college
game's most talented player. But when it comes to toughness and
determination, Najera is in a league by himself.
Best Off-the-Coif Comments
3. Kevin Stallings, Vanderbilt. The coach's hair, or lack
thereof, makes quite a statement about his team, which similarly has done
more with less.
2. Saul Smith, Kentucky. Paging Gladys Knight: We found your
missing Pip.
1. Chris Porter, Auburn. After too long an absence, the fro is
back, and no one in the SEC has rehabilitated the old sartorial style with
more funky flair than Porter. Even after a coach-ordered clipping reduced
it to but a glimmer of its formerly super-bad self, it remains a welcome
fashion alternative to all that ugly skin graffiti.
Most Evocative Fashion Statements by Coaches
4. Steve Lavin, UCLA. Pat Riley Lite. With his slicked-back look
Lavin looks more like a modelkind of like his poseur team.
3. Bob Huggins, Cincinnati. Always dresses as if he's been
hanging with Hef at the Playboy Mansion.
2. Denny Crum, Louisville. Likes red jacket with black shirt. Or
black jacket with red shirt. Both from the "Boogie Nights Collection."
1. John Chaney, Temple. The Rat Pack may be dead, but its fashion
sensibilities live on through Chaneywhose rumpled white shirt, permanently
loosened tie, and bags under the eyes capacious enough for 10 pounds of
potatoes suggest that he's just returned from a four-day bender in
Vegas.
Most-Likely-To-Suck Seeds
3. Syracuse. Q. What's the definition of a Syracuse three-point
play? A. Ten free throws.
2. Indiana. Speed kills, especially when the other team has it
all.
1. Tennessee. On any given night, the Vols can beat anyone,
particularly themselves. Memo to Tony Harris: Get cool new tattoo that
says, "Five-on-five. What a concept."
Top Tournament Nightmares for Opposing Coaches
4. Tulsa. Just ask the Vols.
3. Temple. Matchup zone would scare pants off even Freddy
Krueger.
2. LSU. Such nasty dispositions, they make Pat Summitt look like
Barney.
1. North Carolina. If planets align themselves just right, their
five McDonald's All-Americas could carry Heels to Final Four.
The Field Revealed
You didn't ask for it, but here it is anyway -- another Scene
exclusive, boldly going where more respectable daily papers cravenly fear
to tread: the entire field of 64 men's teams, as it would look if the NCAA
tournament selection committee were forced to vote today (plus, as a bonus,
the whole daggone NIT field, too).
No. 1 seeds: Stanford, Cincinnati, Duke, Arizona
Twos: Michigan State, Ohio State, Tennessee, Oklahoma State
Threes: Auburn, Florida, Syracuse, Temple
Fours: Tulsa, LSU, Kentucky, Texas
Fives: Indiana, Iowa State, Oklahoma, Maryland
Sixes: Connecticut, Kansas, Purdue, Vanderbilt
Sevens: Utah, St. John's, Seton Hall, North Carolina
Eights: Missouri, Oregon, Dayton, Louisville
Nines: Notre Dame, Illinois, Virginia, Southern Mississippi
Tens: Kent, Miami, Xavier, North Carolina State
Elevens: Gonzaga, Utah State, Arizona State, Pepperdine
Twelves: College of Charleston, Indiana State, St. Bonaventure,
SMU
Thirteens: Navy, James Madison, Hofstra, Pennsylvania
Fourteens: Valparaiso, Louisiana-Lafayette, Murray State,
Butler
Fifteens: Central Connecticut, Sam Houston St., E. Washington,
Siena
Sixteens: Bethune-Cookman, Alcorn St., Troy St.,Winthrop
Crying Foul: Bowling Green, Creighton, Long Beach State, Tulane,
UNLV, BYU, Maine
NIT-Bound: Massachusetts, Wake Forest, Villanova, Georgetown,
Penn State, Colorado, New Mexico State, St. Louis, South Florida, Detroit,
DePaul, Southwest Missouri, New Mexico, Southeast Missouri, Louisiana Tech,
Lafayette, San Diego, Fresno State, Southern Cal, UCLA, Arkansas, Ole Miss,
Wisconsin, Rutgers, West Virginia
Horick's "Double-Your-Money-Back-Guaranteed" Final Four: Michigan
State, Kentucky, Cincinnati, Arizona
National Champion: Michigan State

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