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Tell 'Em Charlie Sent Ya
By Chris Davis
APRIL 12, 1999:
Fire Zone
Ah the life of a theatre critic, doomed to endure the hatred
and scorn of those wonderful dramatic artists without which he
wouldnt even have a job. Well, it aint rock-and-roll but I still
like it. (violins) Because occasionally a show comes along that
strips away the cynicism and makes me believe in magic all over
again. I recently encountered such a production, and it was (drum
roll) not Miss Saigon (rimshot). It was an unpublicized event
produced and directed by Rhodes College senior Brandon Barr.
Many Loves, or Trial Horse #1 by celebrated poet William Carlos
Williams was performed in a classroom and under fluorescent lights.
Props were minimal and the actors wore their street clothes. It
began before the audience was aware, and when it ended no one
applauded, at least not right away, and not because what they
saw was bad, or confusing, but because they were genuinely stunned.
What has this to do with that smash Broadway musical featuring
a helicopter, a Cadillac, and machine guns and thats laying siege
to The Orpheum April 14th through May 8th? Sit tight, Im getting
around to that part.
In his directors notes, Barr quotes Williams, saying, [The theatre
business generates] a sordidness which corrupts playwright, producer,
and actor alike yet which somehow, and sad to relate, brings in
the coin while it strangles the entire range of what is offered.
That sordidness which the renowned modernist referred to over
half a century ago can today be expressed in the kind of spare
and tangible language Williams so dearly loved. Simply said, it
is Miss Saigon.
Tet Offensive
Miss Saigons plot is a familiar one. Remember the acclaimed play
M. Butterfly, or perhaps Puccinis opera Madame Butterfly, or
maybe John Luthor Longs book by the same name? Its the same
old story: Non-Asian boy impregnates Asian girl, then abandons
her. Asian girl shoots herself when non-Asian boy returns, meets
the child, and renounces his lovely yella gal who has remained
ever-faithful. This kind of rehash was once reviled as slot-work,
but thanks to the miracles of modern technology it can now be
hailed as a landmark of originality.
Miss Saigons music is poppy enough to please, though stagey
saxophones underscore scenes we know in our hearts belong to Dylan
and the Doors. The special effects will absolutely blow you away.
But such cinematic literalism ultimately disarms the theatres
most powerful weapon its ability to show us an apple and make
us believe its an elephant.
Agent Orange
Allow me to clear away some of the underbrush. (deep breath) It
takes 33 semis to schlepp Miss Saigon, with its 94 winches, 91
automated effects, 375 costumes, and 250 props, including: an
18-foot, 600-pound statue of Ho Chi Minh, an 11-foot pink Cadillac
(representing, of course, the American dream), and a fully computerized
8,700-pound helicopter. As one might guess, its not an inexpensive
affair.
Theatres like The Orpheum have made multimillion-dollar renovations
to accommodate bread-and-butter behemoths like Miss Saigon, and
patrons feel the expense when they shell out their 60 bucks for
a ticket. But like they say, You never hear the shot that kills
you. You see, with the promise of serious pyrotechnics, these
hyper-hyped monster musicals eclipse less flashy theatrical accomplishments,
and the real casualties here are our largely regurgitative regional
theatres. Given an impossible model to measure themselves against,
smaller playhouses must abandon artistic considerations and embrace
the hit or tough shit philosophy of big-time showbiz. And if
you want a hit these days, you got to show em the chopper.
Withdrawal Without Victory
Triumph is unobtainable without risk, and like U.S. President
Dick Nixon before him, Miss Saigons writer and original French
lyricist Alain Boublil wrestled with issues of integrity and public
opinion. [We] had a heart-breaking photograph and a potential
connection to [Madame Butterfly], he has said of the mega-hits
origins, [but] setting a musical at the end of the Vietnam War
was probably unsuitable (this was long before the successful movies
about Vietnam had been released). Boublil deserves our thanks
for joining the likes of John Rambo and Oliver Stone in the hard-won
struggle to make Vietnam the incredibly popular war that it is
today.
All The Children Are Insane
By now you all think I hate Miss Saigon and would rather you didnt
see it. Untrue. See it, love it, and buy the coffee mug, because
the ride is worth every dime. But know that what you are seeing
is a cyborg, more machine than blood and bone. Its good entertainment,
sure, but its not good theatre. For good theatre, seek out the
cashless kids who are putting on plays in their classrooms. Thats
where creativity flies like a rocket. Helicopters be damned.

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