Weekly Wire
Metro Pulse Psychic Movie Predictions

MAY 29, 2000: 

Om Puri (My Son The Fanatic) is a Pakistani father trying to raise his kids to be traditional Pakistanis. Unfortunately (for him, at least), the family lives in 1970s Britain, with all of the swinging freedom that entails.
Prediction: East won a bunch of BAFTA (the British Oscars) Awards this year, competing against the likes of American Beauty, The Sixth Sense, and The Talented Mr. Ripley. Should be a pretty good little flick with a minimal number of explosions.
Probable Entertainment Value: B

Tom Cruise is back and Cruise-ier than ever. In this installment of the film version of the small screen classic, Cruise falls in love, climbs some rocks, and saves the world. Just in a day's work, ma'am.
Prediction: With John Woo at the helm, M:I-2 will tear your heart into your throat with its dazzling pacing and feel. But will this one's plot be more comprehensible that the last? Well, it's hard to envision it being less coherent...
Probable Entertainment Value: B

Jackie Chan takes on the Wild West with Owen Wilson (Bottle Rocket, writer of Rushmore) and Lucy Liu as partners. Call it a wacky blend of comedy and action and leave it at that.
Prediction: If you liked the last bazillion Jackie Chan movies, you'll love this one. But if you confuse Jackie Chan with a heavyset cartoon character—you might want to sit this one out.
Probable Entertainment Value: C

Mike Figgis is just a experimental filmmaking nut. With this project, the Leaving Las Vegas director used four digital cameras, four 93-minute blank tapes, and a handful of talent (like Salma Hayek, Jeanne Tripplehorn, Holly Hunter, and Kyle MacLachlan) to spin a mystery/thriller in which the cameras literally never stop rolling once the action begins. On four screens at once.
Prediction: Hopefully, the technique won't completely bury the story and leave us twiddling our thumbs once the novelty wears off. If anyone can pull this off, Figgis probably can.
Probable Entertainment Value: B

Once again we dip into the annals of BritLit with this adaptation of an obscure M. Somerset Maugham novel about a widow and her would-be suitors in which we learn that love and fascism are cruel. With Kristin Scott Thomas, Sean Penn, Anne Bancroft, and Derek Jacobi.
Prediction: When Villa starts to bore the pants off of you, lop over to Gladiator to get another Jacobi fix. And when Gladiator starts to wear thin, sneak back to Villa. Hey, it'll break the tedium.
Probable Entertainment Value: C

X (R)
In this Japanese anime, the Dragons of the Earth battle the Dragons of Heaven to determine the fate of humanity. And that's about the most coherent part of the plot. If you're into manga, this is the movie for you—directed by Rintaro, the man behind Astro Boy.
Prediction: Read the review.
Probable Entertainment Value: C

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