Weekly Wire
Metro Pulse Movie Blurbs

JUNE 29, 1998: 

Anastasia (G)
The Russian Revolution for gradeschoolers. Double feature with Happily Ever After (G).

The Apostle (PG-13)
Robert Duvall wrote, produced, directed, and stars in this morality tale of a Pentecostal preacher who cannot escape his inner demons. Duvall plays Euliss "Sonny" Dewey, a popular Texas preacher who gets drunk then attacks his wife's lover in a jealous rage, killing him. He flees town to Louisiana, adopting a new identity and trying to start a new life.

Baby's Day Out (PG)
John Hughes nonsense about some baby crawling through a city, foiling kidnappers, etc., etc. Lots of people get hit in the head. Ha ha.

Barney's Great Adventure (G)
Millionaire dinosaur Barney comes to life after a mean older brother Cody hides his sister's Barney doll. Thus begins Barney's reign of terror as the purple lizard king stalks the children for food, laying waste to their grandparents' farm home. President Clinton is forced to call in a nuclear air strike which wipes out Connecticut, destroying all life for centuries and ushering in a new era of misery. Wait—wrong movie! I'm thinkin' of Godzilla...forget about the nuke stuff. Instead, Barney imparts important lessons about sharing.

The Big Hit (R)
Mark "Don't Call Me Marky" Wahlberg is a hitman with more trials than Hercules. A quickie kidnap goes sour. His in-laws-to-be make a surprise visit. His mistress steals his fiancée's earnings. And, to top it all off, a crazed video store clerk just won't leave him alone. Who knew that criminal activity was so darn complicated?

Can't Hardly Wait (PG-13)
Remember high school? Well, now you can trip back to your teen years, all carefully preserved on celluloid. The graduation ceremony is over and the partying has begun. Everyone will consume mass quantities of chemicals and unload all of the emotional crap that they have accumulated over the last four years. Contains a veritable who's who of teen stars: Jennifer Love Hewitt, Seth Green, Charlie Korsmo, with special appearances by Jenna Elfman, Jerry O'Connell, and Melissa Joan Hart.

Dangerous Beauty (R)
Based on the biography of a 16th century Venetian poet/prostitute, Dangerous Beauty stars Catherine McCormack (Braveheart) as Veronica Franco. She falls in love with Marco Venier, whose rich parents frown upon their marriage. Thus, her mother advises her to become a courtesan, and—what the heck!—she does.

Deep Impact (PG-13)
Young Leo Beiderman (Elijah Wood) makes an amazing discovery when he joins his high-school astronomy club: A comet is hurtling toward Earth and will destroy all life as we know it. But will he receive extra credit?

Dirty Work (PG-13)
Norm Macdonald is social misfit Mitch Weaver. Artie Lang is social misfit Sam McKenna. Together these two start a business to extract revenge for profit. American's Funniest Home Videos' Bob Saget directs.

Godzilla (PG-13)
Like you need the Guru to tell you about this big-budget, "dick flick" blockbuster. A big lizard comes from the depths of the ocean and attacks. Everybody runs. Matthew Broderick saves the day.

Gone With the Wind
You know, the epic civil war romance starring Vivien Leigh and Clark Gable. Fans and those few who haven't seen it yet will want to check out this rerelease with improved sound and picture.

Good Will Hunting (R)
Matt Damon plays a roughneck janitor from South Boston who's really a mathematical genius. Robin Williams delivers another of his excellent "serious" roles as the psychologist who must help the young prodigy come to grips with his gift. Finally—an entertaining movie about smart people.

Hav Plenty (R)
Aspiring writer (is there any other kind?) Lee Plenty (Christopher Scott Cherot) decides to drive to D.C. with female friend Havilland Savage (Chenoa Maxwell) on New Year's Eve. Haughty Hav is just getting over the antics of her harsh, philandering former boyfriend. Poor Plenty spends the weekend brushing off come-ons from all of Hav's friends. Of course, in the true romantic comedy vein, the standard plot of a girl on the rebound who meets a boy ready for true love can only mean that Hav and Plenty will find bliss. Well, that and the title.

He Got Game (R)
Jesus Shuttleworth (Ray Allen) plays hoop like a man possessed by Magic, Michael, and Shaquille. Every college in the country wants him and he has one week to choose. And then his long lost Dad (Denzel Washington) shows up, fresh from prison and on a mission from the governor. Can you say "explosive family drama"?

Home Alone 2 (PG)
Heads go bonk.

Hope Floats (PG-13)
Sandra Bullock seems to have it all. A charming smile, a stellar career, and the opportunity to make sensitive films about other women who seem to have it all. Bullock plays Birdie, a woman whose picture perfect life comes crashing down around her and who must return to her small Texas hometown in order to find her future.

The Horse Whisperer (PG-13)
Based on Nicholas Evans' best-selling book of the same name, The Horse Whisperer is a touching drama about the rebirth of trust and love, both the human and equine kind. Fourteen-year-old Grace (Scarlett Johanson) is involved in a tragic horse trauma. Her mother Annie (Kristin Scott Thomas) comes to the conclusion that both the horse and girl must be healed in tandem. Enter Robert Redford, who wears his directing, producing, and starring hats for this one.

The Last Days of Disco (R)
Social climbers unite! The shy Alice (Chloe Sevigny) and the brassy Charlotte (Kate Beckinsale) go to the disco every night to try to meet men more upwardly mobile than themselves. Once they snag a specimen, they talk, in very educated ways, about life, pop culture, and disco. Then they snort some coke, have some sex, and dance some more.

Les Misérables (PG-13)
Famine, war, injustice, and death with nary a musical number to break up the misery. Liam Neeson, Geoffrey Rush, Uma Thurman, and Claire Danes star in this subplot-free adaptation of the Victor Hugo classic.

Lost in Space (PG-13)
The space family Robinson attempts to pilot the Jupiter 2 to Alpha Prime (why not Alpha Centuri?), the only other habitable planet in the galaxy. Foiling their mission is the nefarious Dr. Smith (Gary Oldman), who sabotages their spacecraft. Will the family complete its mission? Will the Robot yell "Danger, Danger!" while flailing its arms? Can the audience withstand "more than 750 state-of-the-art special effects"?

Mulan (G)
Mulan is a Brave Young Woman™ who must go to war to save the life of her dying father. But the ancient Chinese army is a leetle bit sensitive about letting Brave Young Women™ fight, so Mulan decides to masquerade as a man. Of course, she also has a Feisty Sidekick™ named Mushu, who happens to be a fire-breathing dragon and a plush-toy maker's fondest dream.

Paulie (PG)
Talking bird. Kid. Important lessons.

A Perfect Murder (R)
Emily Bradford Taylor (Gwyneth Paltrow) is a trophy wife trapped in a loveless marriage to millionaire industrialist Steven Taylor (Michael Douglas). Emily decides to take the bull by the horns, so to speak, and jump into the sack with a struggling yet emotionally available artist (Viggo Mortensen). Of course, Steven discovers his wife's infidelity and decides, like any red-blooded capitalist would, to kill her. But will he succeed?

Planet of the Apes (G)
Chuck Heston kicks monkey butt in this 1968 science fiction thriller. (See the Calendar Spotlight.)

Six Days, Seven Nights (PG-13)
Plane crash. Harrison Ford. Anne Heche. Romping throughout the jungle. Situational humor. Adventures. Gunplay. Kissing. Stunning shots of Kauai. David Schwimmer.

The Spanish Prisoner (R)
David Mamet is back, this time with an obscenity-free script that isn't set in Spain and contains no prisoners. Campbell Scott stars as a young inventor who is about to make his company buckets of money with a new process. Buckets of money, of course, invite dirty tricks and clever cons, especially if your world is designed by Mamet.

Titanic (PG-13)
Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet play young lovers aboard the Titanic on its maiden voyage (plot twist: the ship SINKS, SINKS, SINKS!). Director James Cameron delivers a captivating supporting role as the biggest spender of studio money in movie history.

The Truman Show (PG)
Jim Carrey stars as Truman, a man who has been covertly filmed for his entire life. Truman's reality has been constructed on a soundstage and he is the last to know. Every person he has ever had contact with is an actor. Eventually, he discovers the ruse and decides to escape. But the show's producer (Ed Harris) doesn't want to let his hottest property storm off the set without a fight.

The Wedding Singer (PG-13)
It's 1985, and Robbie Hart (Adam Sandler) is the most popular wedding singer in town...until he gets left at the altar of his own wedding, turning him into a bitter man. Luckily, he falls in love with Drew Barrymore.

The X-Files: Fight the Future (PG-13)
Two FBI agents investigate stuff. Then weird things happen. That's all we're allowed to say. (Actually, a plot synopsis would fill this entire magazine.)

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