You're hungry, but you know not for what. Fast food gives you the willies, the usual sit-down joints are just a blur of booths and bad service, and the contents of your refrigerator leave you frightened. Your stomach growls like a beast, but you don't know what will sate it. Suddenly, in your woozy delirium, you hear a nasally voice from beyond. "Porkchops...and applesauce..." What was that? It sounded like Humphrey Bogart with a clothespin on his nose. Here it comes again. "Porkchops...and applesauce... That sounds shwell." Could it be? Yes, it's Peter from The Brady Bunch! Now you know what you want for dinner!

Has this ever happened to you? The creators of a restaurant called The Have A Nice Day Café are banking on it. The new national chain, conceived in the tradition of Hard Rock Café and Planet Hollywood, wants to turn the '70s into a recipe for delectable theme-based eats. An article relates the gaudy details.

Okay, so let's say you prefer female imagery to porkchops. Crazy, sure, but that's the kind of person you are. You might want to read this article about the new Georgia O'Keeffe gallery in Santa Fe, New Mexico. Best known for her up-close-and-personal paintings of labia-like flower petals, O'Keeffe liberated the idea of the feminine in art and justly deserves her own museum. Another exhibit, titled "Female Images," further explores the mystery of women through the painted canvas. Does it succeed, you ask? Do porkchops go well with applesauce?

We've got several other articles about museum exhibits, a review of a biographical musical about Patsy Cline, interviews with members of Austin's "theatre mecca," and, for fans of sports or John Woo, a very cranky piece in which a columnist whines "Why oh why?" about a number of subjects. He was probably porkchop-deprived at the time.