Weekly Wire
Weekly Alibi Sympathy for Lewinsky

By Cap'n O

AUGUST 10, 1998:  Our naked bodies glistened. We went at each other with an exuberance that would horrify Alan Greenspan.

I was 21 and brimming with the ambition that is common for people that age. I wanted to experience as many sexual partners as I could.

In this pursuit, the demands of working, going to school or cleaning the house were second rate at best. I did a pretty good job achieving my goal. I didn't save the world or abolish hunger, but I had a great time.

Having a good time at that point in my life didn't prevent me from going on to lead a boring, responsible, middle-class existence as I got older. The body isn't as flexible as it once was, and the spouse has less imagination than some of those early partners, but I'll always have the memories.

Lots of young people have adventures in their early working years. It's almost a tradition. Which is why it is disgusting that everyone is so eager to trash Monica Lewinsky.

Maybe it's my own immoral background that makes me wonder. Pundits claim to be amazed at the public's reaction to the sordid revelations coming out of the Lewinsky/Tripp story. We're willing to let Bill Clinton off the hook for almost anything, but we reserve our hatred for the women in the story.

First there was Paula Corbin Jones. We pretty much accepted her as trailer park trash who parlayed some unwanted attention from her boss into a new car and a complete makeover. Now we're after Linda and Monica.

It's easy to dislike Linda Tripp. Even if she hadn't entrapped Lewinsky into talking about Clinton and had just listened passively to her friend's tales while the tape ran, even if nothing she did was illegal, her behavior toward Monica was small-minded, two-faced, opportunistic and just plain nasty.

Hating Lewinsky is somewhat harder to fathom. Whichever version of her story you accept, she did nothing so terrible or unusual. Either she built her friendship with the president into a fantasy of sexual adventures, or she gave him blow jobs in the Oval Office. For this we want her thrown in jail?

Lewinsky followed the rules of youth and of prime-time TV. She got her degree and then went to Washington to have a good time. She's bright enough to do an intern's job with a minimum of effort, which left her with plenty of time to do what she really went there for: goof off and flirt with older guys.

Instead of behaving like a sanctimonious prig or a politically driven zealot, she had fun. That's what really enrages the humorless, envious hypocrites who are too nervous and too afraid to indulge themselves.

We don't want girls from privileged backgrounds to enjoy their lives. We want them angst-filled and suicidal. We want them to apologize for not being us, and we especially want them to behave themselves. We want rule breakers to suffer.

Monica Lewinsky chased the dream that all of us dream. She wanted to be paid lots of money for doing little work. She also thought sex in the White House with a married man was an exciting challenge more than a moral infraction.

One key error in her judgment was thinking that Linda Tripp was her friend. I'll bet that Lewinsky doesn't have many female friends. Let's just not feel so morally obligated to provide her with enemies.

As we get older, fewer opportunities for illicit sex present themselves. I'm glad I did it when I had the chance, the energy and the alluring wardrobe. We've all had our fun or at least regretted our missed opportunities. If we hadn't broken the rules when we were younger, we wouldn't be as wise as we are now. At least that's my excuse.

Women are coming out of the woodwork now to say they would have been honored to give Clinton some head. One claims that her motives would have been political. That's a lousy reason for sex.

There's only one good reason for sex. It's what marriage, capitalism and most of the other institutions in society are based on--desire.

Monica Lewinsky acted on her feelings. We're supposed to be in favor of that.

Let's not let envy make liars out of the rest of us.


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