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Sylvester Stallone tries to redeem himself in Cop Land. 
The Chronicle's film reviews. 
Jesse Fox Mayshark investigates Hollywood's latest Conspiracy Theory. 
Jesse Fox Mayshark
Visions of Paranoia
According to Conpiracy Theory, "they" are out there. 
Meet the Irish version of Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble. On second thought, don't bother. 
Shall We Dance?
This Japanese film will leave you light as air as you waltz out of the theater. 
Kiss Me Guido
This new gay comedy has a thing or two to learn about stereotypes. 
Devin D. O'Leary
Videos a Go-Go
Every week, we take apart a movie genre for your enhanced rent 'n' view pleasure. 
Jesse Fox Mayshark
Our video wrangler rustles up Coffy and Spider Baby from cult director Jack Hill. 
Reviews of Invasion USA (video), The Girl and the Geek (video), and Mexican Monsters on the March (video). 
What's the matter, couldn't find a review of that blockbuster film you're excited about? We certaintly don't want to leave you disappointed -- why not try some of these larger-than-life movie links? 
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Volume I, Issue 11
August 18 - August 25, 1997
hich is more irritating: (1) Reading a glowing review of a movie,
deciding to see it, and cringing for two hours as you discover
it's an insipid pile of crap; or (2) Reading a vociferous pan
of a movie, opting to avoid it, then finding out months later
that it was actually pretty cool, and man, wouldn't it have looked
great on the big screen?
Personally, I find option (1) the worse of the two, especially
ever since I sat through Chasing Amy, about which a lot
of people raved. Despite many critics' praiseful words like "touching,"
"complex," and "inspired," I hated
that film. Every moment Chasing Amy's narrative lumbered
forward engulfed me in cosmic crisis, leading me to conclude we're
all a bunch of pathetic lemurs on this cold, confusing mudball
called Planet Earth.
To help save humanity, every week Weekly Wire presents
opposite-minded reviews of the same movie. This way, we figure,
you'll neither be disappointed by stinkers nor outrageously surprised
when something is actually "good." It's the least we
can do for your psyche.
Take Cop Land, for instance. One reviewer calls the picture
a gripping, intelligent crime drama; the other says Sylvester
Stallone's chubby persona is the flick's only asset. Who's right?
Who's wrong? It doesn't matter, because now you can leave the
theater knowing somewhere out there is a professional critic who
agrees with you.
We've done the same for Conspiracy Theory. Is Mel Gibson's
paranoiac performance just a stuttering shtick, or does it cry
out for an Oscar? Some of "them" find the movie idiotic,
but it's worth noting that "they" beg to differ.
Sorry to say, a few of our reviews only provide one side of the
story. We realize this imbalance could throw the earth out of
orbit at any time, and we're working round the clock to obtain
counter-reviews. Until then, we advise you to deploy all skeptical
faculties so you can imagine opposing opinions of the following
Hang in there, and remember -- we're all in this together.
If you're one of the few who didn't think Volcano blew, The Lost World
bit, or The Fifth Element was one element too many, here's the forum to
defend your opinion--crazy though it may be.
Curious about a particular director's work? Not
sure what to rent at the video store? Enjoy reading several
contrasting opinions of the same film? This is the place for
you. Hundreds of reviews lie at your fingertips, sortable by
genre, date or director.