Weekly Wire
Austin Chronicle Mr. Smarty Pants

By R.U. Steinberg

AUGUST 23, 1999: 

Xylem is basically sclerenchyma. Sure, it contains some parenchyma, but the rest is sclerenchyma.


Richard Burton used to reach over to Elizabeth Taylor during off-camera moments, take her breasts in his hands, and squeeze them like antique car horns, making "Honk! Honk!" noises.


In England, fire trucks are called "appliances."


Youth in Tehran are selling their kidneys for money. For 10 million rials (£725), they sign on for surgery, followed by a 10-day stay in a hospital and a month's recuperation.


Bounce (the stuff you use in the dryer) can be used to repel mosquitos. Tie a sheet of it through a belt loop.


The above is information which Mr. Smarty Pants read in a book, a magazine, or the newspaper; heard on the radio; saw on television; or overheard at a party. Got facts? E-mail Mr. Smarty Pants at mrpants@auschron.com.


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