Weekly Wire
Weekly Alibi Odds & Ends

By Devin D. O'Leary

OCTOBER 13, 1997: 

Dateline: Israel--One of Israel's most powerful Rabbis, Ovadia Yosef, ruled last week that women who wear wigs will be damned. According to the Orthodox Jewish faith, married women must cover their hair as a sign of modesty. Many Orthodox Jews believe, however, that "realistic wigs" are not modest enough. Rabbi Yosef, spiritual leader of the Shas political party, said in a sermon last Saturday that, if a woman wears a wig into a synagogue, both she and her husband should be excommunicated. Yosef added firmly, "Both she and her wig will be burned in hell."

Dateline: Peru--Celebrants at Peru's recent cat-eating festival were forced to go home hungry after a last-minute appeal from the Humane Society. Organizers in Peru's southern coastal town of Canete were all ready to grill up 50 plump cats to celebrate a local saint's day when health officials showed up to shut down the festivities. The tradition of cat-eating in the area goes back to the 18th century.

Dateline: Australia--The largest chain of retail stores down under has asked Australia's Anti-Discrimination Tribunal in Melbourne to waive the usual antibias laws in regards to the chain's Christmas hiring. Seems that the Meyer group of stores is looking to hire 50 Santa Clauses to man their store over the holidays. "Santa, over history, is male and a white male," said Stuart McNidder, Meyer's Christmas recruiting director. The company is hoping that their "white-male-only" recruiting policy won't land them in hot water.

Dateline: Belgium--A high court in Ghent, Belgium, has ruled that "light slapping" is acceptable in sadomasochistic relationships as long as both partners agree and are over the age of consent. Electric shocks, clamps, weights and "other such" devices are not. Using such stimulation methods can still leave practitioners open to charges of lewd and lecherous behavior.

Dateline: Brazil--Rio de Janeiro's most famous "love motel" cleaned up its act--at least for the weekend. The Ebony Hotel hid its sex toys and took down its erotic pictures for the Pope's visit last Saturday. The Ebony Hotel, located on the picturesque Guanabara Bay, is a mere 300 yards from the spot that Pope John Paul II chose to deliver his speech to an estimated crowd of 1.5 million. For weeks, the hotel had been inundated with reservations by the Catholic faithful willing to spend up to $300 for a prime viewing spot. Owners of the Ebony stopped renting in their usual six-hour increments and removed bedside condom dispensers. His Holiness was in Brazil on a four-day visit to promote "family values."

Dateline: Colorado--Over the weekend, unidentified thieves in Aurora, Colo., dismantled and made off with a 120-by-24 foot prefabri-cated building.

--Compiled by Devin D. O'Leary


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