Weekly Wire

Arts & Leisure

Volume I, Issue 23
November 10 - November 17, 1997

Don't ask me why, but I spent the last few days in Los Angeles trying to restore my sanity after my best friend, Robyn, shunned me (see last week for the pathetic details). "I'm not going to let Robyn keep me from having a good time," I told myself. Then I proceeded to spend a killer weekend in the Land of Angels. A killer weekend.

Friday night was weird. While attending a dance performance, I got kicked out due to the bleating beeps of my Tamagotchi (it was hungry, okay?). And the policeman leading me out was scary -- I thought for sure I might be beaten! Fortunately he just snickered and told me to be careful driving on the freeway. Yeah, right! If Robyn were there, I'll bet she would have told him to stick a yam up his butt. You can always count on Robyn for something outrageous.

On Saturday morning I decided to do some people watching, so I went skating down Venice Beach. I didn't go far before I saw all these big, muscular men lifting weights in the sand. Hello! The sight of all that beefcake made me feel gloomy, though, since I immediately wanted to share the experience with Robyn. And she was not there. Were you ROBYN?

Holding back tears, I ducked into this "art" shop where they had all these sexy nude sculptures. That only made it worse! Without Robyn there to crack jokes, I felt like I was looking at dirty pictures. I left quickly, without so much as an ogle. See what a saint I am without Robyn? How boring.

Walking back to my car, I was totally crying, the tears streaming down my face like raindrops on a woman's face or something. Everyone on Venice Beach was looking at me. "Ha ha, look at the dumb woman bawling," they probably thought. I wished I'd had sunglasses, or better yet, a mask. I wished I had my good friend Robyn!

Okay, so I lied. Maybe I didn't have such a killer time in Los Angeles. Maybe I'd have been better off sitting and home looking up, like, Renaissance art on my computer and relaxing. Maybe I'd even have been happier in some dumb place like Kentucky. I don't know. Whatever. Where are you Robyn? It's been over a week now. Call me?

Now What?
A gallery of captivating links to keep your imagination churning while the paint dries. [16]

Talk Back
Tell us your favorite medium, and we don't mean that in the Shirley MacLaine sense of the word.

Featured Articles
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Virtual Pest
We've all heard about the joys of raising and caring for your own virtual pets, but what if you really can't stand them? We hire career woman Hillari Dowdle to see if she can locate her motherly instincts. [2]
Hillari Dowdle

The Body Pneumatic
A decent amateur bodybuilder today could blow Arnold Schwarzenegger out of the water. All it takes is time, dedication, and a whole lot of chicken. [3]
Stephen Heuser

L.A. is for Lame
A city that probably shouldn't exist, Los Angeles can still keep you interested for a while. [4]
Paul Gerald

Want to know what all these checkboxes are for? Click here to find out, or just ignore them.

"Phantom of the Opera": What's the big deal? [5]
Chris Davis

Reviews of The King Stag at Dougherty Arts Center; Ovid's Myths: The Roman Nose in Exile at Zachary Scott Theatre Center; and The American Chestnut at Planet Theatre. [6]

Ravaged Landscape
Arizona Repertory Theatre tackles Robert Schenkkan's "The Kentucky Cycle," a sprawling saga of 200 years of hard-scrabble existence. [7]
Margaret Regan

Revenge of the Fourth Estate
Coverage of New Orleans' local theatre scene. [8]
Dalt Wonk

Ready for My Close Up
Kathy Dunn-Hamrick's Close Ups gets the most out of a small dance space. [9]
Stephanie Beauchamp

In the Gallery
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BYU Does It Again
Brigham Young University as a bastion for higher learning? That's laughable. [10]
City Weekly staff

Dirty Pictures
Cartoon surrealism gets itchy and scratchy at the Pop Culture Gallery. [11]
Grant Alden

In the Season of All Saints
Alex Beard at Positive Space and Sandra Russell Clark and Hugo Montero at the CAC -- all through November. [12]
D. Eric Bookhardt

Gloomily Luminous
Tucson Weekly cartoonist Joe Forkan exhibits some entrancing oils with an Old World patina. [13]
Margaret Regan

Cultural Corridors
In New Mexico, a unique use of highway funds is allowing public art to grace the state's highways. [14]
Kevin Klein

Cezanne in Cyberspace
Surfing the Internet with a man who can't swim. [15]
Devin D. O'Leary

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