Man of Letters
A musical mailbox full of hate
By Dave Chamberlain
DECEMBER 21, 1998:
You never know how much people hate you until they tell you. And in 1998, boy howdy did a lot of people tell me.
Just in case you forgot how much they hated me, here's a sampler of the year's best examples, with some positive response.
From Newcity, January 8:
"I thought Dave Chamberlain's reference to Michael Hutchence's death was extremely stupid and insensitive... It's really disgusting that some journalists are so desperate for things to write about that they have to take cheap shots like that." (Ellen Ginsberg)
Ellen: Thanks for writing. If you think that was disgusting, you should have seen what the editors cut out.
From Newcity, January 15:
"Dave Chamberlain: Please don't write about music anymore." (Brian Werner)
Brian: Thanks for writing. No.
From Newcity, February 19:
[Extensive praise of Newcity, including a rare, glowing review of our redesign]. "The one glaring problem is now Dave Chamberlain, with his ridiculous interest in hip chatter, fanciful-yet-hollow ramblings, and smugness all wrapped into one... He's not funny and does no one a favor with his lazy legwork. Does he actually get paid for this?" (Patrick Skvoretz)
Patrick: Thanks for your interest. I do, in fact, get paid. But only on the condition that I am not funny.
From Newcity, March 12:
[From a former classmate of mine in Denver, Colorado]"Halfway through the show, [Nashville] Pussy's vocalist informed the screaming crowd of a certain 'asshole David Chamberlain of the Newcity.' He quoted the asshole: 'There's only so much [Nashville Pussy] can do with three chords.'...Blaine retorted: 'Well fuck you' and 'Here's what you can do with three chords motherfucker!' to a crowd that was undeniably screaming for the throat of my schoolyard peer... Nashville Pussy blew my mind with three chords and turned a world of Chicago rockers against you, Newcity's Bronco boy. See ya in the Mile High at the '98 reunion, Dave. (Robert Hain)
Bob: Good to hear from you again. Too bad I didn't see you at the first four Nashville Pussy shows, but I guess you were hanging out at the Smart Bar or something, giving a final edit to your really neat D&D-like game. And where were you at that reunion, Bob? Everyone in our 1000-person graduating class inquired about you. Where's Bob?, they all kept asking. Finally, without you there to make it complete, we canceled the whole darn thing.
From Newcity, March 19:
"To Robert Hain, I have one thing to say: You are a sucker. And to Nashville Pussy, who can't take the criticism because they suck: If it was praise you were receiving, I don't think Blaine (what a sissy-ass name; is he for real?) would have stood on stage and thanked the heavens for a wonderful music critic like Dave (keep it up Dave, you kick ass). Blaine needs to either take the heat or get off the fucking stage!" (Angenette Kerekes)
Angenette: Thanks for the defense. But don't be too hard on Bob. It took him forever to get out of shitty-ass, under-populated Colorado and back to beautiful, warm Wisconsin. And he has this really neat D&D-like game, too.
From Newcity, October 1:
"Dave, your reviews are nothing but a piece of shit. Your long-hair ass should sit down and find that rockers like yourself don't exist anymore. To say that Smith & Mighty are godfathers of England's scene is horrible. Watch for me coming out with a CD later this year, biattch." (Dave Staples)
Dave: Thanks for your interest. Unfortunately, I actually don't have long hair. If you'd like to talk to rockers about how they don't exist, however, I'm sure the Morbid Angel show should have some. You should check out Sturgis next year as well. I'm sure the long-haired rockers there would love to talk about how they don't exist. And, linguistically speaking, I believe it's b'yatch.
From Newcity, November 5:
..."And to Dave Chamberlain: Feel free to fling yourself down and elevator shaft, poke your eyes out, etc." (Curtis Locke)
Curtis: Thanks for the concern. And by the way, I know these guys - Robert Hain and Dave Staples - who you absolutely have to hook up with. The three of you really make Chicago's music scene proud.